We are fast approaching our kick off this Saturday! You do not want to miss this! Details below!!!
The Every Ounce/Cada Onza Feeding Support Community is introducing an new inclusive feeding support community for pregnant and parenting families from culturally and ethnically diverse backgrounds. We are asking for your support in spreading the word as we invite families to meet our Feeding Support Team:
Paulina Eirces, IBCLC (Bilingual Spanish)
Luisa Duran, CLC (Bilingual Spanish)
Mia Searcy, CLC
Shani James, CLC
China Tolliver, CLCA
The Mission of Every Ounce is to promote all healthy feeding options for pregnant and parenting families through social support and education while building relationships within communities representing culturally and ethnically diverse families. Join us:
Saturday October 14, 2017
Park Hill Library
4705 Montview Blvd, Denver 80207
9:30-11am, FREE EVENT
Please see attached flyers for details. This event and all subsequent monthly supports groups are exclusively for culturally and ethnically diverse communities.
China L. Tolliver
I have good news! In the midst of all this crazy news, disaster and divisivness I bring positivity!
I have an 18 month old daughter and she still nurses. She swings from my breast like a wild child swaying left and right, flailing her feet in full delight. She smiles, laughs and plays until she has had her fill and then she pinches and pulls my nipples out of curiosity. This is everyday. Sometimes in public. She doesnt care if we are at the mall, or perusing through target aisles. She has no regard for your childs eyes or your husbands stare. She trully give zero effs about your disgusted passive agressive "really?" look on your face. She doesn't want to stop what she's doing, but she will temporarily break to say hi. Then gets right back to what she was doing. For those that have asked, time and time again, (Its not annoying but it is constant) I will answer your question. And...without sarcasim or attitude! Why am I still nursing???
Black breast feeding week is almost over but its still a celebration! Ive been talking about it all week. This is one of my favorite weeks of the year!
Hooray! Hooray to all the mothers who were able, attempted and continue to breastfeed their children. A special shout out to the black moms this week! Ive been breastfeeding for 17 months exactly (as of yeaterday) and it isnt easy. It never was easy. But im doing it! My child is healthy and fed in the best way I know how. Theres nothing like liquid gold. Im very proud of myself. My breastfeeding journey has been a long time coming. Ive written, but havent shared, a few articles on my challenges but didnt think they would be interesting enough to read but ive changed my mind. Rather Ive been reminded of the importance of lactation support. My support did not come in the form of birth workers or medical staff. Unfortunatley they failed me. They failed to offer me the same services that they offer others. From what i understand this is a repeat offense in my coomunuty. Really they fail to follow up and follow through. But the blogs!! The bloggers were there for me! So I will be too. Thats why I started. I was lost ans found my answers. I will be there for all moms and especially moms in my community. Regardless of your income, job title, or any other demographic your child is less likely to make it to their first birthday. Its all related. Lack of resources.
Again hooray black moms because we are stastically less likely to have the resources and you still make ends meet.
However, I dont want to take away from the moms who tried or who thought about breastfeeding and really wanted to but didnt have the information or support to continue. You are what this week is about. The mothers who felt the choice was taken from them because they had to return to work and couldnt pump. Also the mothers who planned to breastfeed but didnt produce milk.
Fed is best. Motherhood is challenging enough lets share in the joys of a fed healthy baby and raise awareness to the benefits of breastmilk for baby.
It is upon us!
I try to stay relevant with my topics. Many times the information I'm answering is some how connecting to my current situation or possibly a situation a friend is dealing with. I had several blogs I was just sitting on waiting to share
because I didn't think it to was the right time. Unfortunately, I've lost access to a significant amount of materials. I put in a lot of work and I'm sad that it's not available but life goes on.
Now I'm working on recreating material I've lost as well as new topics. My FAQ video is coming. Refilming was necessary. If you have any questions you would like to see me answer go to my contact page and send me a message. There is still time before I refilm.
It may appear that I post randomly however Ive been very strategic with my topics and when I decide to publish materials. This has caused me to be significantly delayed in sharing. Now I am at the point where I would like to continue to be strategic in sharing my blogs but its more important to me to get the infirmation out there. My mission is to help parents and keep babies safe and happy.
Thank you everyone for continuing to read and support my blog.
It happened...My daughter was told she has "good hair"...
I'm halfway through 27. *deep breath*
The past six months have been a whirlwind but I've learned so much...
The passion is here but the words are not. I'm am still in the hardest period of transition/ wilderness I've experienced thus far. I have full appreciation and understanding for this phase in life that I am in. In the midst of my wilderness I am taking the time to be very very present. I'm breathing in the trees, watching the breeze through the leaves and feeling the hot sun on my face as I tackle every obstacle that's coming my way. I am finding joy in my testing period knowing that my breakthrough is coming. There is promise land on the other side of the wilderness so I press through. And I press and I press, not knowing how long this period will last, saying all-the-while thank you lord. Whatever comes after this will be incredible. The blessing that will come after this will be amazing. I remain grateful and thankful for the patience of all the folks who do not know but continue to check my blog for updates. Thank you to all who continue to read my previous blogs. Somehow through all of this the traffic on my site continues thrive. I have not abandoned you all. However, when I put my figurative "pen to paper" all I can write about is the death of my cousin and feelings I have from that. There are some aspects of my struggle that can be witnessed real time and other parts that I am saving to help others get through. However I do not have the answers yet. I am being shown how to deal by experiencing and living. I am still living it. Thank you lord for that. I am still living. Hallelujah.
I've adopted one of my father's many philosophies. he used to say to me
" I'll let the world tell you you're beautiful, I will tell you you're smart"
i was gone for a min now im back wIth the jumpoff
meals for mommy: crock pot
its been quite a while since I've added any recipes to my "meals for mommy" series. My delay is partly because I'm not a chef and I'm still a mom. I cook nearly every night and it's always something quick or easy. Unfortunatley, It's not always both but hey we win some right!! You can trust that anything I share will be delicious, but again disclaimer: I'm no chef or food photographer. So just trust me!! Everything here is for the regular schmegular parent... Like me!
A rainbow story
My daughter is a rainbow baby. This a little known fact. I didn't want to share my first pregnancy loss when it happened. There was no pregnancy announcement. I actually didn't know I was pregnant the first time until I was already experiencing the pains of miscarriage.
I'd had some abdominal pain that was unusual and I hadn't had a menstrual cycle so I thought maybe this was it. The next day, I doubled over in pain and couldn't stand for several minutes. I felt the pains all the way down my legs and I couldn't move. It was so intense that I didn't even want to move my hands. My husband came and sat with me while I breathed through my pain. He was trying to determine if I was experiencing pains from endometriosis, which he had seen before but this looked different. This felt different to me. We decided to go in to see a doctor immediately and I was admitted to the hospital. At week 9 we found out that not only was I pregnant but I was painfully miscarrying and had a cyst burst in my ovary. I was admitted to the hospital and given IV for two days.
Because my husband and I are very private, we chose to go through this process by ourselves. We didn't let our families know where we were. It was just another "busy" weekday/weekend. We stayed "unavailable" for about 2 weeks after that recovering. Our families actually never knew until March 2017, nearly 6 years later, that we had ever had a pregnancy prior to my daughter. I probably would have never shared had I not experienced another miscarriage in February 2017.
This time we knew we were pregnant. The second pregnancy jitters had worn off and the excitement sunk in. We had prepared to trade in our SUV for a larger one with a 3rd row seating. I'd purchased my first batch of maternity clothes and vitamins. I'd just barely started showing but it was much faster than my pregnancy with Zazu. I started playing all the announcement scenarios in my head. I settled on having my daughter's huge superhero birthday bash also be a pregnancy announcement. Hence the clubhouse rental for a one year old.
One day in February, a very inconvenient day (I remember the date but I will keep that for myself) I got up and didn't feel right. I honestly didn't feel right the night before. I told my husband "I just don't feel pregnant anymore". The next morning I woke up with familiar pains. I was preparing for a discussion panel that I was hosting on the racial disparity in infant mortality and all of a sudden I knew. I rushed to the bathroom with my daughter in tow. I Confirmed what I saw and looked in the mirror and told myself it was okay, aloud. Then I yelled down for my husband who was preparing to take me to host this discussion. I let him know what was happening and that I would deal with it later. I know that decision may not sit right with some people but I just felt deep in my spirit that I wouldn't let this crush me. I wouldn't let this take me off track with the importance of the work I had that day. I carried on as if nothing had happened forcing my smile and pushing through the pains and discomfort. It became a little difficult when I got so dizzy I nearly passed out but I was hosting at a hospital so my thought was if anything happened I'm already here.
After the discussion, which was an incredible success, the emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. Much harder than the first time. I didn't want to talk to anyone about anything. I stopped blogging for a while. I posted some previously written material. Other times I just didn't post anything at all. It was hard for my husband and I both.
After the miscarriage everything felt a little excessive. The clubhouse was too much space for a party. I thought, why did I get these clothes in this size? Trading in our car became less of a priority because we didn't really need the space and the rush to upgrade every aspect of our life just seemed depressing. I chose to ignore it...All of it. Unanswered texts, unreturned calls, I cut it all off. I just didn't want to deal with it. I needed my time.
In the midst of my emotions ( or sometimes lack thereof), I sought strength in a conversation I had in 2015. I'd just started a new position in the same department at my old job. In a somewhat casual conversation a coworker shared that he and his wife had recently experience their own pregnancy loss. I just nodded my head thinking back to my miscarriage but too afraid to say I could relate. I just replied with " I hear it's more common than you think". He said "it happens all the time, 1 in 4 pregnancies." He explained to me how they were coping and that their focus was on their son who was healthy and active. Thinking back to that conversation while going through it a second time really helped me.
This conversation in combination with my incredibly supportive husband helped me to figure out my feelings. The most difficult part for me is figuring out how to feel. With so many different thoughts it's hard to really know how you actually feel or what feelings are appropriate. I felt thankful for my daughter but I also was sad. It made me think I was cheating my daughter out of the happy moments she deserved. I chose to be the mother she deserved but to feel what I needed to feel when she went to bed. I didn't want to internalize it all. You must feel it and get it out. For me it didn't mean tears. It was just sadness and anger. I wasn't angry at anyone I was just angry. That's ok. It is ok to feel. I was also argumentative and that isn't ok to me. I allowed my self the time to feel so I became aware of my feelings and very present. I would quickly apologize for my actions, mostly to my poor husband. The awareness that he was also going through his own emotions and experiencing the same loss that I was, was helpful in my healing. I knew that he'd keep his feelings more shielded from me , but I understood that he was being strong for the both of us.
I knew miscarriage was something I likely would experience because I was warned of the effects of my surgeries. Nonetheless, it is one thing to talk about it and another to experience the mental,emotional, and physical affects of loss.